Free Yourself Of Toxicity
Although I knew it was something I had to do, it took a long time for me to begin to remove certain people from my life. If you are being abused emotionally, you need to reject toxic people from your life.
It has not been easy. I have lost sleep over it, cried, worried, second-guessed myself.
Looking back though, I know I made the right decision. Now I can smile about it.
I am going to share with you a little story about someone who has been toxic in my life for years, as well as some advice on how to identify bad energy and reject toxic people from your life.
Before I begin, I want to mention that decisions like this should not be taken lightly. Think about them long and hard.
One thing I can guarantee is that when you reject toxic people from your life, you will gain a new peace of mind.
Who Is An Enabler?
An enabler- one that enables another to achieve an end; one who enables another to persist in destructive behavior or by providing excuses or by making it possible to avoid the consequences of such behavior.
An accomplice is defined as one associated in another person’s wrongdoing.
Manipulation refers to making attempts at indirectly influencing someone else’s behavior or actions.
As human beings, our emotions often cloud our judgments, making it difficult to see the reality behind hidden agendas or motives in different forms of behavior.
The controlling aspects linked to manipulation are sometimes very subtle and can easily be overlooked, buried under feelings of obligation, love, or habit. You can recognize the signs and avoid being a victim.
Becoming Aware Of Toxic People
Have any of you ever experienced real and true manipulation from a family member, friend, or colleague?
Well, I have. One person has really assisted my ability to identify manipulators. Let’s call this person Sly.
Sly was someone I thought I could be open with, talk to, hang out with, share good times with, go shopping with, make memories with etc. Little did I know how naïve I was. Sly is a master manipulator.
It took me a total of EIGHT YEARS (can you believe that??) to conclusively realize that I honestly and truly did not need this person in my life.
Year after year for eight long years, Sly would fabricate a story about something I supposedly did.
Would stop talking to me for months on end, defame my character to everyone I knew. Would then one day out of nowhere contact me again as if nothing ever happened. This is a for of emotional abuse.
Each and every time I would feel like we had gone through a bad phase or rough patch and move forward.
No questions asked. What a big mistake!
Remember, Sly would never disclose what the reason was for us not talking, or tell me what I had “supposedly” done.
I could never figure out why that was. If you have a problem with someone you let them know right?
Sly couldn’t because I had never actually done anything wrong, and certainly not anything that warranted not being spoken to for 8-10 months a year repeatedly for eight years!
Each year Sly would hatch out a new plan, and the cycle would begin again. Sick and twisted as it was, I went along with it.
There is nobody in Hollywood at the moment that can play roles like Sly can. The scariest thing, is that Sly is good at what Sly does. I have reflected on the patterns of behaviours I have seen in Sly.
if this is slowly starting to sound like someone you know or have to deal with – start considering the option to distance yourself from this person. As I said earlier, reject toxic people from your life in order for you to be emotionally healthy.
How Toxic People Play The Victim
Playing the victim role, lighting the fire then running away from it, the storytelling, the doe eyes, not taking an ounce of responsibility for their actions (it is always someone else’s fault), the fabrications, the betrayal, the backstabbing.
It gets worse. People like this have accomplices they gather in a campaign of destruction.
You see, when someone like Sly realizes that they can influence people you have in your life by lies and manipulation it makes it all so easy.
The thing is, when Sly would make phone calls, send messages and gossip and lie about me, Sly knew that the people being told would never once pick up the phone to ask me what was going on.
Is what we are hearing even true? Nope! Never once did they ask. They continued to feast on the meals of deceit Sly was serving, while I sat back and never said a word.
A month before my son was born, Sly decided it was again time for us to stop talking. Sly cut me off as usual, though this time I was glad. I was done. Really. Truly. Finally.
When my precious, darling, beautiful son came into this world and Sly did not reach out to say “congratulations“, I knew that I had made the right choice about ridding my life of this poisonous, toxic, narcissist.
God, my husband and son are my battalion. A unit impenetrable to deception.
The moment you realize that the person you cared for has nothing intellectually or spiritually to offer you – except for a headache – RUN!
Sly often smiled that practiced smile at all the right moments. Said the right things. Acted the right way.
Manipulators will even go as far as research things that interest you, such as your new business, your favourite restaurants, your hobbies, all in an effort to pretend as if a shit is given about your life.
They do something nice, once, to earn loyalty, and then harken back to it every time they screw you over.
I believe I became a target when Sly realized “f*%k! she can see right through me”, “she knows the game I have been playing”.
Sly realized that I was not a customer ready to buy the bullshit. So I became the narcissists target.
Yes…Narcissists. They are like deep cover CIA operatives. Always operating under a cover identity.
It is second nature to them. They often will even convince themselves that their cover identity is real. They pretend they are nice, selfless, even discriminated against! Laughable but true.
You know what the sad thing is? Most of these kind of people suffer from low self-confidence.
…..And Their Accomplices
Sly has a team of accomplices. These are the people who sympathize with Sly regardless of being aware of wrongdoing. Some members of this team may not be aware of the extent that Sly will go to destroy.
They are BBF – Blinded By Fakeness. You should not only reject toxic people from your life who you know directly, but people associated with them as well.
The biggest accomplice Sly has at the moment is one that is ten years older than Sly. One would think that person would be smarter, more mature, sensible. To think that would be wrong.
The accomplice holds Sly close because of what Sly can offer. Free lunch and dinners at nice restaurants, a babysitter every once in while, and of course someone to keep the accomplice from being bored.
The accomplice has no day job, so finds pleasure in doing as Sly says. The accomplice can sit back and watch this sickening never-ending reality show.
Make no mistake, Sly has done so much to others. I am certainly not the only person who has been affected negatively by this person.
Sly has destroyed marriages, relationships, friendships, families! Clearly disregards the power of karma!
The day will come for Sly and karma will not only rain down, it will pour!
Reject Toxic People From Your Life And Move Forward
There are three ways to deal with people like Sly:
- Pacify through appeasement – Not going to happen
- Insult them by being angry – Been there, done that
- Escape and Evade – Yes! this one it is 🙂
I have finally escaped trying to be happy to have this person around me.
Too much deceit has been uncovered. I have escaped listening to Sly talk smack about people to me. Sly has gossiped about any one and everyone to me. It is Sly’s MO.
I am over pleasing others and selling my dignity.
Life is so much better without these jackasses (the nicest word I could think of) in it. There is a cost to being around them.
If you don’t accept this, then you have been around yours for so long you have forgotten how great life is.
Get away, by any means necessary, and never look back. I can’t stress it enough – reject toxic people from your life – today!
Best of all, by doing this you will preserve your relationships with the people you care about, while they gradually figure out who the sick narcissist is, and break free for themselves.
The people who really love and care for you will show you through their actions. If someone shows you otherwise – believe them.
Reading back, I see I was ranting in this post. I have recently embraced an attitude of positivity. REALLY!
While this post may not seem like it, I am happy. Free. I needed to get this off my chest. Moving along.
When you forgive those who hurt you, you take away their power.“If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.”Click To Tweet
Have you dealt with toxic people? Do you feel it is important to reject toxic people from your life?
Share your thoughts, experiences and feedback with me in the comments section below.