How Saying No Is The Best Way To Increase Emotional Growth

Say “No.” That’s it. End of post. That’s my advice. Saying no is the best way to keep yourself from unnecessary overwhelm and stress. We often say yes and agree to doing things without pausing to think about what we are getting ourselves into.

You need life advice? There you have it. Say no daily. That’s all there is to it. Watch your life change for the better! You will feel a sense of freedom and control. There is no reason to feel pressured into saying yes all the time.

I know what you are thinking – is she kidding me right now? The answer is No. Ha! See how easy it is? Yes? No!

No it’s not easy for many of us. This two letter word can be so hard to speak out sometimes. A word so simple yet so hard to use. Not being able to say no has made life harder, more complicated for so many people.

I can write for days and days about being a people pleaser. I used to be one.

My mind, my heart, my gut would say No,no,no! And what would my mouth say? “Yes, sure, of course.”

When I think back to those days – well not too far back, I only learned the power of saying “no” last year.  It does not come easy, but saying no is the best thing because it leaves room for you to do so many other things you may have not otherwise had time for; simply because you made commitments without thinking about it first.

 Why Do We Find It Hard To Say No?

Mainly because we have been taught to associate no with negativity. Rejection, fear of conflict, judgement, hurt, lack of loyalty. Also, it is easy to say YES! It comes out quicker. It is much harder to say NO.

Back when I was a people pleaser, I used to feel that saying no meant hurting the other person’s feelings. Disappointing them. They had come to me requesting help or a favour.

I would even say yes because I did not know how to communicate or explain my reason for saying no.

It was just easier to say yes. But you know what? I would regret it later and lacked the courage to go back on my word.

Not anymore. I say no and I do it with confidence. It is okay to say no.

You do not have to feel bad or guilty for doing so.

You can say do so in a polite manner that makes your boundaries clear. Others’ reactions and judgments belong to them, and not to you.

If Saying No Is The Best Thing – Where Do I start?

What can you do about it? Practice it. You can learn to say no gracefully.

Practice saying “no” in small, unimportant situations. When you feel tempted to buy something, or eat that extra piece of cake.

Stop and breathe before saying “yes,” to give yourself a little time to consider the commitment you are about to make as well as assessing your own needs and priorities.

If the situation allows, ask for time to think about your decision.

If you say yes this time, will that make things easier or harder for next time?

To be able to say no will help you live more authentically into who you are. Saying no is a skill that gets easier with practice.

 

 

 Things You Should Be Aware Of

Potential Persuasion Techniques: Some people just don’t like to take no for an answer. And may use persuasion techniques or the “powers of persuasion” they believe they possess to to try and change your mind. Don’t fall for it.

Being Asked Multiple Times: If you say no to one thing, they may try to get you to agree to a smaller commitment or favor. If you want to say no with confidence and positively  change your life by doing do, then you need to remember to be firm. Keep saying “No.”

Comparison Tactics: Comparing you to other people is another way often used to get people to change their no to a yes. You do not have to do something simply because someone else did.

 3 Things To Do When Saying No

  • Start with a compliment or gratitude.
  • Ask for more time before committing.
  • Thank and encourage the person.

Always remember that you do not need a reason to say “No.”

If you do not want to do something, then you don’t have to do it. Remind yourself that it is your choice, you life.

Saying no is the best thing you can do for your own peace of mind as well. You will not feel the need to  constantly try to please people out of fear. Put yourself first and start building or maintaining your self worth.

You will find that you are not overwhelmed and overloaded with tasks and priorities of others simply because you said YES.

 

Be True to Yourself, Your Convictions, and Your Priorities.

Did you enjoy this post? (Don’t say NO! – LOL). Please share it with your friends and family.

Download the Negative vs. Positive Ways To Say No Infographic in my FREE RESOURCE LIBRARY.

I would love to hear how you say no. Be it to family, friends, coworkers, kids, your boss.  Please share them with me in the comments section below.

Have a great day and week!

Sheri

 

 

Saying no is the best thing you can do for yourself to avoid unnecessary stress and overwhelm. You will be glad you learned how to.

All Your Thoughts Are Welcome ~ Join The Conversation

37 thoughts on “Why Saying No Is The Best Thing For You

  1. I *did* enjoy this post! I used to be a people pleaser, too, and you’re right: it’s no fun in the end! I’m trying to perfect my art of saying no. Practice makes perfect 😉

    Posted on March 23, 2017 at 00:39
  2. I have learned that saying No is ok a lot this past weekend. It is even healthy to say no.

    Posted on February 28, 2017 at 10:42
  3. Yesss!!! I had to learn how to say No the heard way as well. It was very difficult at first because I am very generous and want to help everyone. I quickly realized that saying “no” helped me create boundaries and not allow myself to commit to things I know I can’t do.

    Posted on February 21, 2017 at 22:01
  4. I say No a lot of times, I listen to what my guts says. Most of the time my guts is right. On some people when you tell them No they seems to have a hard time accepting it. But for me NO is no and yes is yes. Not no is yes and yes is no. Well at least that’s how people think sometimes.

    Posted on February 21, 2017 at 21:00
  5. I agree 100%. I too was a people pleaser. I began saying no last year. I found family can be the worst manipulators. So, I had to choose me and my children. I love this. Yes, I say everyone should know their limitations and decline politely if the request will make them uncomfortable, cause a hardship, or unreasonable.

    Posted on February 21, 2017 at 18:04
  6. This is great advice that is very hard to take but I’m working on it! I find this really hard to do at my day job but I’m getting better at it in my side business. If you say yes to too many things, you won’t have anything left yourself.

    Posted on February 21, 2017 at 17:44
  7. Seriously just say no! I can’t tell you how many times I didn’t listen to my gut and said yes to something and ended up 1. working extra for free, 2. not even getting a thank you. 3. stressing out about the whole thing. SO yes, say no, and don’t be afraid!

    Posted on February 21, 2017 at 15:57
    1. I know exactly what you mean. Then you regret not listening to your gut and feel silly because you are not even appreciated. I get you completely on this one.

      Posted on March 1, 2017 at 03:47
  8. I need to learn to say no more! Great article!

    Posted on February 21, 2017 at 14:59
  9. thanks so much for this post. Saying no gives you so much permission. Great tips!

    Posted on February 21, 2017 at 11:36
  10. I like that you provided alternate ways to say “no.” I have a hard time saying no because I think it sounds spiteful or rude, but in the ways in which you’ve phrased it, it doesn’t sound bad at all!

    Posted on February 21, 2017 at 10:30
    1. Yes Divya – sometimes it is all about the words and the tone that we use. Sometimes we may feel bad for saying no, but if it is necessary, then go ahead and never feel guilty about it.

      Posted on March 1, 2017 at 03:49
  11. Thanks for this post. Declining also helps us overcome peer pressure. It also enhances our autonomy and decision making skills.

    Posted on February 20, 2017 at 18:39
  12. Omg yes!!! Just love this. I have been pretty good lately about saying no to things that don’t serve any purpose to me. Life has beeen better because of it

    Posted on February 20, 2017 at 16:53
  13. Such a good post I enjoy reading this, and now this is exactly what I need I’m suffering in this struggle glad that you share this post

    Posted on February 20, 2017 at 16:12
  14. I’ve always had a hard time saying ‘no’ because I didn’t want to hurt people’s feelings. But, you are right…you really need to say it more often…to save your sanity and take back your life (in some cases).

    Posted on February 20, 2017 at 13:28
  15. This speaks volumes. We hate disappointing people so we end up disappointing ourselves instead. It’s important that we know our limit and we respect our time as well. Saying no is freeing, but it’s important to say no the right way so as not to hurt a person’s feelings.

    Posted on February 20, 2017 at 10:06
  16. I’ve recently begun to do this too and it’s really improved my quality of life. I was spreading myself out too thin before.

    Posted on February 20, 2017 at 08:10
    1. Yayyy! Good for you Elizabeth. You will have more free time and I am glad you made this choice. Have a wonderful day and week! Sheri

      Posted on February 20, 2017 at 10:01
  17. Oh man how I’ve struggled to say no in the past. I’ve become much better at it these days without feeling guilty.

    Posted on February 19, 2017 at 23:38
  18. I need to start doing that, I always say yes then I’m like why did I do that. No is a answer I need to start being more vocal on!!!

    Posted on February 19, 2017 at 21:28
  19. I’ve got to start saying no. Just today I gave into something I didn’t really want to do because I couldn’t say no.

    Posted on February 19, 2017 at 16:35
    1. Oh Terri I really hope you are able to learn how to say no. It is so hard and sometimes we feel guilty, but you really should not do anything you dont want to do. You can download the “Positive Ways To Say No” guide from my resource library here: http://www.abusybeeslife.com/resource-library/ I really think it will help. xoxo Sheri

      Posted on February 20, 2017 at 10:12
  20. I’ve been guilty of pleasing people too! But luckily at one point I’ve learned how to say no!

    Posted on February 19, 2017 at 14:16
  21. Im definitely guilty of being a people pleaser. I’m always so keen to not disappoint that I end up overstretching myself and stressing myself out all because I was a fraud to say no. Must try harder!

    Posted on February 19, 2017 at 12:48
    1. I believe in you Emma and I think you will be able to learn how to do it, slowly but surely. Download my free negative vs. positive ways to say no guide in my Resource Library here: http://www.abusybeeslife.com/resource-library/

      Posted on February 19, 2017 at 13:46
  22. Balance is key!! There are so many articles saying “say more yes” but you make great points about saying more no. I think balance is so important with this so we’re not depriving ourselves of experience but still doing what’s in our best interest.

    Posted on February 19, 2017 at 09:30
    1. You are so right Kaleigh. I think balance is key as well. I think saying yes too often and being a people pleaser is detrimental, while saying no all the time and becoming a recluse is not healthy either. Balancing the two and learning the benefits of saying no is great. It will leave you feeling happier and better. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Happy Sunday. 🙂

      Posted on February 19, 2017 at 10:41
  23. Your post is very true. I liked reading it. The positive ways of saying no are very helpful. Great to remember myself again that I don’t always have to say yes!

    Posted on February 18, 2017 at 17:39
  24. Oh I know this struggle and I still have it sometimes but I’m trying to do my best to actually say “no” when I mean it… it saves you so much headache, time and so many worries

    Posted on February 18, 2017 at 14:24
  25. I’ve always been good at saying no for some reason. This year, I made saying yes one of my personal goals – of course, only to things I’m comfortable with. Won’t be saying yes to stuff I don’t like haha!

    Posted on February 18, 2017 at 14:03
  26. I used to be terrible at saying no buy nowadays my confidence and willingness to look after myself are higher so I don’t mind declining every now and again.
    Katja xxx

    Posted on February 18, 2017 at 13:33
  27. Good post! It’s so important to find balance in modern life in which you always seem to have million things going on simultaneously. Saying no is hard but you just have to do it sometimes.

    Posted on February 18, 2017 at 10:06
  28. What a great post!
    I’m that kind of person who can’t say no, I always say yes to everything. And well, I do so much stuff that I litteraly have no time for myself anymore…

    Loved reading this!

    Posted on February 18, 2017 at 10:02
  29. Great post! Interesting read because I actually feel like I need the opposite advice. Sometimes I’d just brush off an invite to some social gathering because things like that make me a bit anxious, but I am trying to get myself out of my comfort zone by saying yes more! 🙂

    Posted on February 18, 2017 at 09:29
    1. Yes! LOL. I think that is a great idea Sandra, it is important to be able to say yes too and interact and socialize with others. Here is a post that will help you: http://www.abusybeeslife.com/step-out-of-comfort-zone/ you can learn more about the things you can do to get out of your comfort zone. Have a great day! Sheri xoxox

      Posted on February 18, 2017 at 09:46