1996 – Are You Living As Your Authentic Self Or Fictional Self?
Are you in touch with your authentic self? I recently started a series called Monday Musings. The musings are reflections on my life, where I have been, and where I am going – or at least hoping to! I have learned a lot about the difference between my fictional self and my authentic self. Have you?
In 1996, I was 13 years old, when I learned about the struggles (not mine) of fitting in. You know what middle school is like. Going through puberty, dealing with hormonal changes, cliques and bullying.
You gain responsibilities, find new friends and develop coping skills. It is a time of many transitions.
Easy for some, harder for others. I was lucky. I had a whole bunch of friends, was involved in sports, music, and dance. You could say I was one of the “cool kids”. Yet, I always found myself looking out for the underdog.
There were so many times I tried to include the loners in our clique. It did not work.
It was hard to balance both which brings me to my topic for today.
Authentic Self versus Fictional Self
Being who you are and living your truth, or living a lifestyle according to what your environment dictates. We all have several versions of ourselves.
Who we are when we are with friends, family or colleagues. There are certain things we feel we can do or say, what is “appropriate” when among various people.
Over the years I have struggled with conforming to what is deemed “the right way” and living my own truth.
Have you ever felt as though you needed to be someone you are not just to fit in?
'Why fit in when you were born to stand out?' - Dr. SeussClick To Tweet
What Is Your Authentic Self?
The authentic self is you – the real you. It is you when you are alone.
When nobody is watching. Listening. Or judging. Your core.
Think of this as a fruit. A fruit with many layers.
You have to peel off many layers to get to the core, the seed.
The external layers of ourselves are defined by the characteristics and labels given to us by society.
Mostly defined by race, religion, social standard, occupation….the list goes on.
What Is Your Fictional Self?
Your fictional self is essentially the complete opposite of your authentic self.
It is the way others define you. It is not your authentic self or your core, but rather what is seen on the outside. A doctor, a mother, a soldier, a poor man.
What others see as your social situation and function in life. That is your fictional self.
Bring Out Your Authentic Self
Knowing and sticking to your values will help you find and define your authentic self.
- Do any of these obstacles stop you from getting the most out of life? You will notice the following:
- your values change and deepen as you understand yourself better
- you are different to the person society has asked you to be
- you are in tune with your authentic self
- you are able to live your truth
- your inner voice within you will become stronger and clearer
- it is easier to make decisions
Unfortunately, this could mean disconnecting from relationships, situations, or circumstances that violate your truth.
Sure we need to be open, flexible and able to compromise in relationships.
Listening to the thoughts and opinions of others, having an open mind in order to learn new things or gain different perspectives are great and positive character traits to have.
If you are required to compromise your being, let it go.
'Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change.“ - Wayne DyerClick To Tweet
The Benefits Of Becoming Your Authentic Self
- Feeling and being happier
- Doing things on your own terms
- Realising your potential
- Feeling fulfilled
- Truthful to yourself and others
- Having a sense of purpose
- Doing what you love
Align your self-image with your public image, so you don’t have to change who you are when you are around different people. Stop trying to fit in.
You are unique, so walk your own path. Here are three simple and interesting tests to try.
Being real and living your authentic self will make you feel more complete.“It is not the names they call you that are important, but what you answer to” Click To Tweet
Be true to yourself and do the things you always wanted to do. Discover what that is and live it!
Your authentic self will shine through if you let it.
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Do you struggle between your authentic self and fictional self?
Have you accepted yourself for who you are? Has it been easy? Hard?
Please share your thoughts, experiences and advice with me in the comments section below.