5 Warning Signs That You Have Low Self-Confidence

November 30, 2016

5 Warning Signs That You Have Low Self-Confidence

Is Low Self-Confidence Cramping Your Style?

Self-confidence is extremely important in every aspect of our lives. Yet so many people struggle with low self-confidence..

For some, the littlest things can them into a terrible cycle of low self-worth.
Upbringing, self-image, body language, the way we walk, talk, dress, interact, are all factors that tie into self-confidence.

Think back to when you were growing up, did you have emotional love, support, positive affirmations, encouragement or confidence building skills?

I hope you answered yes to this. If not, some or all of these reasons may be why you are lacking low self-confidence.
Recognizing the signs that indicate you have low self-confidence may either be glaring or hard to detect.

Here are five warning signs that may resonate with you.

 

1. You Are Sorry For Everything

You are always saying sorry. Be it your fault or not, you are sorry.

For many of us, the word “sorry” has become something we reactively utter. It might seem like a small and harmless habit to avoid drama, but realize this, it can actually lower your self-esteem and self-confidence.

Do not be so quick to apologize for things you didn’t do. your apologies will automatically tell others that you think you are responsible for the issue. Even if you aren’t.

I don’t make unnecessary apologies anymore. I have realised that it sends the message that I’d rather be agreeable than be honest.

Yes, being sorry is easier than dealing with conflict. It’s much less stressful. Being worthy and self-confident is much more rewarding.

Easy Fix: When you hear yourself apologizing, acknowledge that the apology is inappropriate and remind yourself that you did not do anything wrong. This will give you great peace of mind.

 

2. You Devalue Your Achievements And Deflect Praise

You receive a compliment, but don’t know how to accept it. Something great happens to you say you were blessed or in the right place at the right time.

The truth is you’ve done worked hard, and earned somebody’s respect and admiration. What do you say to that?
For a long time, when someone would tell me I looked nice or they loved my hair, thanked me for doing a great job at work, I would spend so much time analysing their words.

Thinking that it couldn’t possible to deserve positive feedback. Therefore anyone who paid me compliment must be either lying, confused or feeling sorry for me. I had to change my mindset in order to grow my self-confidence.

Easy Fix: When someone gives you a compliment, say “thank you.” Own it. Receiving congratulations for a job well done? Again, if you can’t bring yourself to say you are happy about it and you deserve it, say “Thanks, I appreciate that.” Be appreciative, a compliment is a gift.

 

3. You Are Indecisive

Not trusting yourself to make decisions and constantly questioning yourself will leave you indecisive. Most times there is no right or wrong choice to make.

I am pretty indecisive about what to wear and what to eat. Those are two points where I have to think over and over again, make a choice, change my mind, decide, change my mind again.

In regards to making more important decisions in life, more often than not, we’re indecisive because we’re afraid. At times, indecisiveness is a result of too much thinking. There comes a time when no matter how much you think about it, the decision is not going to get any easier.

Easy Fix: Make a list of the pros and cons for each of your options.The act of writing down every facet of the situation, good and bad, is very clarifying and your answer will become crystal clear.

 

4. You Shop To Feel Better About Yourself

Have a bunch of clothes you don’t intend to wear, wish you could wear, are not even your style? Yet you bought all these items when you were feeling down.

You find that you are always looking for that one item that will make you feel better about yourself. That item that will finally allow you to be accepted, or fit in. Sounds like you are trying to fill a void. Living for approval are killers of both joy and self-confidence.

Easy Fix: Stop comparing yourself to others. Find pleasure and acceptance within yourself. Material items should never be used to satisfy you or justify your existence.

 

5. You Are Avoiding The Real World

You are still afraid that people won’t like you, and their opinions matter so much that you rarely leave the house because it means meeting or dealing with people.

You sit behind the computer all day because it’s easier to be liked and accepted on social media than it is in person. You need to go out and get practice. Interact with family, friends, strangers even.

Easy Fix: Smile at someone just for the hell of it. Test it out, and then watch and see how your self-confidence gradually increases. Believe in you.

So how many of these lack of self-confidence signs do you see in yourself?

Always do what you believe to be right, even if others mock or criticize you for it. Be willing to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve better things.

How do you deal with low self-confidence? Have you mastered the art of high self-confidence? Share your experiences with me in the comments section below.

 

People with a low self-confidence have certain signs that are glaring. Wondering how people view you? Have any of these five warning signs?

82 Comments

  1. Reply

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  3. Reply

    LaQuisha Hall

    This is absolutely true! I suffered from this for years before becoming a confidence coach. Thank you for sharing!

  4. Reply

    danicagilbuena

    I believe we all went to this state in our life where we are not confident with ourselves. Glad to have overcome that in my 24 years living my life. Great post!

  5. Reply

    mskathykenny

    I think we all need to accept our flaws and love what we have. We need to realize we can never be everything but we are okay with who we are. We just need to believe in ourselves little by little. This post of yours is just awesome.

  6. Reply

    Holly

    As women we do say sorry a lot. I don’t know why. What are we sorry for?

  7. Reply

    Jennifer

    One thing I have learned is when someone pays me a compliment to not deflect it and to humbly accept and say “thank you”. I really like your tips on how to determine if you have low self esteem and what to do about it.

  8. Reply

    Eva

    whenever I am in a room full of women, I hear so much apologizing. It is a trip. We say sorry instead of excuse me. I think some of us are programmed that way.

  9. Reply

    Kusum

    Totally agree with you! One other thing I would add is to surround ourselves with confident people who help boost our own confidence in times of self-doubt.
    xx, Kusum

  10. Reply

    Kirstin N. Fuller (@thetravelindiva)

    Great suggestions! I used to be the ‘sorry’ girl but that because exhausting after a while (lol). Now I’m the ‘sorry, not sorry’ girl. Life’s too short to be miserable. I embrace me and keep it pushing!

  11. Reply

    Ty Knighten

    This is a great post and I know a few people who I will be sharing it with.

  12. Reply

    Mimi Green

    I’ve been this girl at moments in my life. They don’t last long, but I see it as a bit of checks and balance type of deal.

  13. Reply

    Anitra | The Mom on the Move

    Surrounding yourself with people who build you up is important. When you know your worth you’ll be more apt to do this. Understanding your love language is a great way to find people capable of building you up.

  14. Reply

    Suzanne Spiegoski

    I feel as if everyone can get insecure from time to time and something that always has room for improvement.

  15. Reply

    Blair Villanueva

    Out of the list, No. 4 helps me to feel good (talk about retail therapy) and it works! Sometimes when I feel emotional, this kind of therapy works on me.. yeah it hurts (seeingy billings, hehe) that’s why I always makes sure every purchases counts ☺

  16. Reply

    Indrani

    This is a wonderful lesson on self estimation. The 4th point could be better worded though… shopping while morale is low… I do get what you are trying to say though. I am sharing this with my daughters now. I can expect some discussions at dinner table today.

    1. Reply

      Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life

      Thank you for your feedback Indrani. Looking forward to hearing about your dinner table discussions.

  17. Reply

    toughcookiemommy

    I think constantly saying sorry is not a good sign. It’s so important to be confident and to stand behind what you say and do.

  18. Reply

    Stephanie Cooper

    I liked the points that you pointed out and that you provided fixes for the problems. One things I noticed that I recommend to clients as a life coach…what about prayer or meditation? Wouldn’t that be a possible 6th that you can add for a solution?

    1. Reply

      Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life

      Hi Stephanie. Yes, I am so glad you mentioned it. I am still quite new to blogging so I have been trying to stay away from prayer and religion in order to stay neutral. I do believe that prayer works and I do a lot of meditation in the evenings to relax and get me to sleep after going through years of insomnia. I think maybe I need to consider being more open about my beliefs – not impose them on anyone but share. Thanks for the suggestion for number 6.

  19. Reply

    kemkem

    Good points on this post. I truly can’t remember feeling badly about myself. Certainly not as l got older. Amazing how much more secure you feel with age 🙂 .

  20. Reply

    Miriam Ernst

    I think these are great tips, even if for some it’s far more easily said than done

  21. Reply

    Cynthia @craftoflaughter

    These are great questions to ask yourself and then find out why. Self confidence is so important and yet everyone struggles with it

  22. Reply

    Dawn McAlexander

    You just described my husband to a tee. I do believe that he is very low in self-confidence. I still love though. I just wish he could get past this.

    1. Reply

      Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life

      Hi Dawn. I think he can certainly get past it, if he can admit to himself that he needs to build his self-confidence. Glad he has you by his side, and maybe you can help him through it. It is a journey but one I think will be well worth it.

  23. Reply

    Zuqueta

    I have definitely experienced this after dealing with infidelity. I am so thankful to have friends who were very honest and helped me get my confidence back. Very well written!!!’

  24. Reply

    Vaishnavi @ Dentmaker

    Very well researched points! Love that you’ve covered the causes of low self confidence and tips to overcome them. Sage advice to live by! 🙂

  25. Reply

    Carissa (The Green Eyed Lady)

    Great Read…and great way to get yourself in check. I dont necessarily think I have low self confidence but I find myself doing some of these…let me check myself TODAY!!! Thanks for sharing!!!

  26. Reply

    The SeoulChild

    I remember when I used to suffer from it a long time ago, and it played into a lot of my anxieties. I had to learn to fight through it. This is good advice!

  27. Reply

    Shane

    Unfortunately, I’ve been told my job interviewers and new people I meet that I have the opposite problem Each have there pros and cons for sure!

    1. Reply

      Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life

      You mean they say you are over-confident?

  28. Reply

    Enjoyfreebies

    Yeah I do often find myself suffering from low confidence. Sometimes when you try for so long and fail, it can break down a person. But it is important to remember all that we have accomplished. This post has really hit home for me.

  29. Reply

    Laveena Sengar

    Hello Sheri
    Beautifully written post. I was amongst those people who used to apologise instantly just to avoid the drama that will follow. With time I figured out that this wasn’t the right thing to do and I feel good now.

    1. Reply

      Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life

      I am so glad that you figured that out and are able to stand up for yourself. Not to say that confrontation or drama is fun, but sometimes you have to be strong and not instantly apologize, especially when you are not wrong.

  30. Reply

    Christina Aliperti

    You know, I remember being in that sorry for everything stage. Then one day I asked myself what was I apologizing for when I wasn’t doing anything wrong!

    1. Reply

      Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life

      EXACTLY! Sometimes you need a little self reflection and realise that although you mean well, you are not doing yourself a favour. I like that you could have some self insight. Happy Weekend.

  31. Reply

    verushka

    Such an informative post with tips. I try to be positive and confident most of the time. As a larger woman often I am ridiculed by my weight it does upset but I have learned to rise above it.

    1. Reply

      Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life

      I hate it when people ridicule others based on their outward appearance. It is so illogical and unfair. I am glad you are staying confident and positive about it because you are a strong woman who never ever deserves to be treated that way. We all need to be more accepting of one another.

  32. Reply

    Christine

    Great tips and warning signs for low self esteem. Its essential to be able to pick up on these things in ourselves and our family and friends.

  33. Reply

    Dana Vento

    You’re right! So many people who don’t have low self-confidence this post is so very great! Thanks for sharing these guide.

  34. Reply

    Tara Holland

    I have identified with several of these in my lifetime, and I know many other people have too. It is great that you gave some easy fix tips rather than just listing the signs.

  35. Reply

    asseenonjean

    I’m every single one of those! I’ve lacked confidence for as long as I can remember, and am not really sure why. It is difficult to change how you are as an adult, but I feel I’m slowly starting to. Thanks for your great tips 🙂

  36. Reply

    Roxanne

    I love that you provided a fix for each dilemma. That’s the hardest part knowing what to do in those situations. Very helpful info!

  37. Reply

    TColeman

    I definitely feel like this is me in a couple instances. Thanks for pointing out that these could be due to low self confidence in some way or another.

  38. Reply

    Amy Jones

    I’m a person that has struggled with a lot low self confidence issues. I could totally relate to some of the points you’ve made here. Thank you for shedding some light on this matter

  39. Reply

    Leigh Anne Miller Borders

    Definitely something to think about. I think I find myself in this position sometimes.

  40. Reply

    lex

    1. you are sorry for everything freaks me out, like hell no. one should own up to his or her own flaws, am i this kind of person? nahda and i can understand this post sometimes alot gotta be bent for the sake of friendship in some cases.

  41. Reply

    Ana Ojha

    Oh! I could totally relate with some of these points when I was a teen but now things are not the same as time has taught me everything! Though there’re times in my life when I feel low and then running helps me to overcome everything!

  42. Reply

    Misty Dawn Nelson

    These are a great tips, i have a low self confidence, Glad you share this with us

  43. Reply

    lastchance3

    I suffer from chronic low self esteem and self worth. Working on it is extremely difficult at times.

  44. Reply

    Collectively Bee

    I think everyone has low self-confidence from time to time. I see a lot of these signs in myself but I’m working towards getting better.

  45. Reply

    The Trophy WifeStyle

    Ahhhhhi remember back in the day I use to be sorry for everything!! Even thu ha I couldn’t even be sorry about!!!! Glad I grew up to be a stronger, more confident person

  46. Reply

    katyashadeofteal

    I think most of these represent me when I was a teen. It’s nice to read this and realize how much I’ve grown since most of these don’t apply to me anymore.

  47. Reply

    Colette S

    I love the question that you asked at the beginning about how you grow up and if you had emotional support etc.
    I had none of that and therefore can identify with all these on your list.
    I have been trying each day to heal myself to healthy.
    Thanks for sharing.

  48. Reply

    Alfonzowords

    Such brilliant insight and wisdom shared here! I loved your points on sorry.

  49. Reply

    Elizabeth O.

    These are definitely signs to look out for when you’re not feeling like your awesome self or if you haven’t discovered how amazing you are. Self confidence is important especially if you’re out in the world, trying to make reach for your dreams.

  50. Reply

    Sarah-Louise Bailey

    Thank you for some of these tips that we may be able to detect ourself about self-confidence. And the easy fix advice as I may say would be very helpful.

  51. Reply

    Amber

    I am working on this. I know I apologize a lot for things. I need to stop doing it.

  52. Reply

    Christina Aliperti

    i think we all struggle with low self confidence to some extent. Good to know their are ways to overcome it.

  53. Reply

    livelaughhlovee5

    Statement #5- I could care less if nobody likes me that is just my personality I guess haha, but I think that is with everyone you know like if your afraid that people won’t like you that is there problem I guess, or maybe I am thinking of a different phrase. Not really sure lol myself.

  54. Reply

    The Travel Ninjas

    I’m not sure why but it seems like low self-confidence is more common now than ever. Hopefully your tips will help those that suffer from it.

  55. Reply

    Jennifer L Johnson

    I am so guilty about doing this!!! This is great ways to help combat low self confidence!

  56. Reply

    Cynthia W

    I sometimes have doubts about work that I turn into clients, very high doubts. I have learned that if they keep returning they must like it. I used to point out what was wrong with what they liked…lol Now i simply say thank you when they compliment and keep notes on how to improve what I think is “wrong”. When I look back at the notes later on I find there is nothing wrong and I when I feel like contradicting a compliment to simply say thank you and leave it that.

  57. Reply

    Candace

    If I’m honest I do have low self esteem but a lot of people who know me find this hard to believe as I put on such a front yet inside I’m dying

    1. Reply

      Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life

      I feel you Candace. Me too. People always assume I am super confident and happy, meanwhile I have gotten good at masking my pain. I hope that you are able to work through the roots of your low self-confidence or self-esteem in order to be happier. The best time to start is now. I am hoping you have a good support system also. Have a look at this: http://www.abusybeeslife.com/positive-affirmations-part-one/

      I think it will help you. There is a lot of power in the words we say to ourselves. If you want to talk, please reach out. xoxox S.

  58. Reply

    puritybelle

    Great post! I had low self confidence when I was younger but I think as I’ve gotten older, I appreciate myself more and don’t worry so much about what people think. It still kicks in the odd time though!

  59. Reply

    Sara G

    To be honest, I don’t even know what to write, I see all of the signs in myself, it’s like you were basically describing my life. I guess I need to find my confidence.

  60. Reply

    theforeverteacher

    I am still working on my confidence… so this signs could not be more true. Smiling at a stranger def makes a difference… making someone else day makes me feel better about myself.

  61. Reply

    chei

    I also have a low confidence before especially when having a decision in life. But i realize that we have to do every decision in our lives to learn from it. 🙂

  62. Reply

    Booke

    Some great tips! Thanks for sharing them. I like to smile at everyone I meet, sure does make me feel better.

  63. Reply

    MyMagicalTrunk

    Loved reading this post, your pointers are so practical. I guess best way to feel confident is to open your thoughts in front of others and be comfortable with what you are and what you feel.
    Xo,
    Shreya!

  64. Reply

    GiGi Eats Celebrities

    I am pretty thankful for the fact that I have pretty great confidence. It’s not overly so that it seems “bit**y”… It’s right on the money, and attracts others !

  65. Reply

    Anne Yedlin

    I am so guilty of a lot of these. Becoming aware is the first step in fixing the issue. Thank you for posting, it’s a real eye opener for me.

  66. Reply

    Chloe

    I say sorry far too many times in a day. It something that I definitely need to start being conscious of. Thanks for the tips!

  67. Reply

    grantleishman

    Some practical and interesting solutions to dealing with low confidence or self-esteem. I enjoyed this article. The most important thing, for me, is to understand that only one person can change your circumstances and that person is YOU. Everyone else’s opinions about you have to be subordinate to your own, Love yourself.

    1. Reply

      Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life

      You are so on point with this feedback. I love how you said other opinions are subordinate, we always forget that and let opinions of others affect us and our low self-confidence only increases. Thanks for stopping by! S.

  68. Reply

    Rose

    Working on that confidence all the time. I am one to walk with my head down and blinders on. Surprised when someone says hi to me because my social circle is so small. I have gotten better with keeping my head up, saying hi to random people that pass by me and involving myself in activities.

    1. Reply

      Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life

      I am working on this too Rose, actually looking into people’s eyes when I talk to them, or at least looking at the middle of their forehead so it seems I am looking into their eyes. For me it is more about being shy than having low self-confidence, but I understand you completely. Great that you are working on this and getting better at it.

  69. Reply

    Ola

    It’s so difficult for young ladies these days. This is a good list to share with some of the young girls I know. Always best to start early.

  70. Reply

    Kwame

    I’ve made a conscious decision to remove sorry from my vocabulary. I caught myself saying it far too often.

    1. Reply

      Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life

      That was a good idea. Are you finding it to be more beneficial?

  71. Reply

    Ana De-Jesus

    I do have low self confidence and its largely rooted to my poor perception of self. Growing up I was abused by my stepmother, bullied by my peers and as a result am hugely critical and never satisfied. I find it hard to embrace the way I look but I am a lot better than I was before but there is still a long way to go .

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