Monday Musings: The Reflections Of An Imperfect Perfectionist

July 25, 2016
Monday Musings: The Reflections Of An Imperfect Perfectionist
Reflections on my life, my musings of where I have been, where I am going are one of the reasons I write this blog. To inspire and motivate others.

Reflections As A Form Of Meditation

Reflections on my life, where I have been, and where I am going – or at least hoping to are one of the reasons this blog is so therapeutic for me.

I am able to put my thoughts and feelings down on paper – (well on the PC) and share them with you.

Perfectionism, is defined as a personality trait characterized by a person’s striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards, accompanied by overly critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others’ evaluations.

Imperfect or imperfection is defined as being Not perfect, faulty, incomplete.

All the things that I am.

Have you ever felt like your voice was not being heard? Ever felt lonely in a room or a house full of people?

Even invisible at times? Yes? Well so have I. Do these feelings stem from fear of potential rejection? A lack of connection with those you are surrounded by? Worry of not being good enough?

I know I am not perfect, Because perfection doesn’t exist.

Do you tell yourself not to strive to be perfect – but yet in someways I still do?

The quest for perfection is one of the fastest routes to unhappiness, as it is nothing more than an illusion.
 

I do not publish every post that I write. For many different reasons.

Fear of being judged, being unable to find the right words to get my message across, my mood, the time of day.

Changing my mind about what I want to write about (this is a constant one!)

 

[bctt tweet=”Reject the idea of perfection because it doesn’t exist. ” username=”abusybeeslife”]

 

This brings me back to reflections of my past and the reasons behind my search for perfection.

Why would anyone seek perfection? It comes down to two things.

Self-image and Self-worth.

Seeking perfection is nothing more than seeking recognition and acceptance from others. If you are perfect then no one can find fault in you. This in turn translates into acceptance right?

Again – Not true. There’s never a perfect time, place, or moment. It has been tough trying to learn this. 

Going back in time to find the root of the problem on WHY  I seek perfectionism is the route I have to take.

For someone who suffers from OCD and anxiety, there are days when my mind is here, there and everywhere.

I decided to begin a series where I will share with you, in no more than three paragraphs, weekly Monday musings about my life.

My good, bad, funny, sad, interesting, confusing, chaotic, vulnerable, painful, and victorious moments!

An event, a day, a feeling, as I remember it on the day I am writing.

No pre-planning, just whatever comes to me when I sit down to write the post.

Of course, this means it will be random moments from random years in my life, yet hopefully always something you will be able to relate to!

Look out for my monday musings and let me know what you think.

Hope this week bring you lots of positive moments, joy and happiness.

Are you a perfectionist? Do you seek it? Or know anyone who does?

Let me know what your experiences with perfectionists have been in the comments section below.

Happy reading!

 photo http---signatures.mylivesignature.com-54494-214-D9FF68CD89839C7D04805824C636E627_zpsjhqhdhz9.png

Reflections and musings on life. Musings of where I have been, where I am going. To inspire and motivate others imperfect perfectionists.

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58 comments

Valerie CottageMakingMommy November 8, 2016 - 20:57

Sometimes I don’t do things just because I know I can’t get it correct. Grrr.

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royaltyinreality November 4, 2016 - 10:35

I don’t think i’d call myself a perfectionist. I try my best to avoid mistakes/errors but accept that fact that I’m going to get this wrong sometimes.

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Ola November 3, 2016 - 17:18

Very honestly written. I so appreciate that. What helps me to avoid perfectionism is to pray for humility. Seems like a small thing but humility is the anecdote. Thanks for sharing your story!

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Anosa November 3, 2016 - 14:41

What a lovely series to begin, I would to seek perfection when I was younger but as grow and mature not so much. I am more accepting of my limits but still strive to achieve my goals but never let that put me down if I don’t I just try again

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1stopmom November 3, 2016 - 11:44

I used to try to be the perfect wife and mother when I was younger and it was hard. Very stressful too. It took a long time for me to get comfortable with being me and not who everyone thought I be. I don’t think perfection should be a goal for anyone.

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The Editor November 3, 2016 - 10:07

In my personal opinion, being imperfect is perfect! A perfect chance to improve yourself, motivate, learn more, and advance more.. because when you are already perfect, there is nothing to chance, hence a perfect thing becomes stagnant… worst, useless.

-blairvillanueva

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Divya @ Eat. Teach. Blog. November 3, 2016 - 07:29

It’s interesting because I feel as though I’m a perfectionist at some things and, in other ways, I don’t seem to care if I fall short. I guess it just depends on what your priorities are and what you value.

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everythingcurvyandchic November 3, 2016 - 06:56

Perfection doesn’t exist I spent years trying to be that person

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Christina November 3, 2016 - 05:39

Perfection may not exist but don’t you think it’s important to always do your best? When you’ve done your best then let it go and the universe usually brings what you need to you.

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Valerie CottageMakingMommy November 2, 2016 - 18:48

Love reading this. This is the time of year to really think about life and meaning. Perfection doesn’t exist.

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The Side Hustle Stories November 2, 2016 - 13:44

I feel like everyone seeks perfection in the things that they deem valuable. For example, I don’t seek perfection in how my home is kept, because I don’t spend a lot of time at home. However, I do seek perfection in my career because that’s where I focus a great deal of my energy. Just have to learn to be happy with progress I guess 🙂

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Natasha Kendall November 2, 2016 - 05:55

I’ve never been a perfectionist. I think I’m pretty chill and just take things as they come.. haha!

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Dot November 2, 2016 - 05:09

Hey Sheri, great post. I use to be a perfectionist when I was younger. Thankfully i have given up on the idea since and have been a lot happier 😀

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Jemma September 26, 2016 - 08:18

I love this idea and definitely need to meditate more.

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Ana Ojha September 23, 2016 - 00:25

I was also suffering from the perfectionist syndrome few years back and I had a lot of mental stress that time! I wasn’t giving time to myself. Then later I started doing mediation. I attended a workshop few years ago and learned that one should not put his/her body on stake for being perfectionist.

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fillmypassportblog September 22, 2016 - 20:57

This is so inspiring! Meditation is a practice that I am intending on implementing into my daily routine. Thank you for this inspiring post!

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Dunja September 22, 2016 - 13:40

I’m not a perfectionist unless it’s something i really really care about. i think we all want perfection because that’s what we’re taught to do. Society is telling us 24/7 that we have to be perfect to be accepted, so pressure is understandable but we have to fight it and be proud of our imperfect selves.

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Valerie Ratliff September 22, 2016 - 13:00

Very inspiring. It’s funny how we all can connect through the written word.

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loisaltermark September 21, 2016 - 20:57

This is such an important reminder. I think women are especially guilty of striving to be perfect – and the sooner we accept that’s not going to happen, the happier we will be.

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soniya Saluja September 21, 2016 - 16:52

This is such a inspirational post … I am not good at writing down my feeling on a paper I rather share it with someone .

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NYG@NaughtyYogaGirl.com September 21, 2016 - 16:19

Oh, I loved that you wrote about this! I’m a huge perfectionist and people don’t understand how hard that is! It can make for a very stressful life! Thanks for sharing your views. 🙂

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Divya @ Eat. Teach. Blog. September 21, 2016 - 16:00

Definitely not a perfectionist! If I were, I wouldn’t get anything done!

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Amber September 21, 2016 - 14:56

I have never strived to be perfect. I know I’ll never be and don’t have the energy. So long as everyone in my family is happy and healthy at the end of the day, I’m good! Heck, sometimes they all aren’t even happy, but healthy at least 😉

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Nicole Glover- Mommy Share Space September 21, 2016 - 13:53

Very inspiring! It can be so stressful trying to be perfect for those that depend on me daily, which I fail at miserably mind you! I love the idea of just getting out your thoughts as random as they may be! Great post!

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Madeline September 21, 2016 - 13:49

There have been so many times where I’m in a room full of people and feel completely alone. It’s really disheartening sometimes, but also exciting because I feel like I’m a spy. Hahaha!

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Paighton Millington - The Lazy Baker September 21, 2016 - 08:23

Oh yes. I’m such a perfectionist, especially when it comes to my cakes. I love this post and I’m looking forward to these posts, I will definitely look out for them!

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Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life September 21, 2016 - 13:38

Thanks Paighton, I am so glad you enjoyed this post. If you click on http://www.abusybeeslife.com/category/personal-growth/monday-musings/ you can find more of these 🙂

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Blair Villanueva September 21, 2016 - 07:42

Sheri, your post is very inspiring! I also reflect each week, but most of the time I did it during Sundays, so I am ready and full of energy on the Monday 😀

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Tina C. (Nourish. Heal. Live!) September 9, 2016 - 10:39

Sheri are you in my head? You hit the nail on the head! I know I can relate. Trying to be perfect for myself or perhaps those around me. Not sure but your words surely resonated with me today. P.S. don’t worry about those posts that you don’t post…post them! Do you and I guarantee you, someone will either need to read your words or will completely forgive you for needing to write them.

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Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life September 9, 2016 - 15:39

Hi Tina! I am glad you enjoyed the post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me and for the encouragement to post those posts that I have tucked neatly away. I am slowly exiting my shell so one of these days I think I will just go for it! Wishing you a lovely day and a great weekend! xoxo

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Megan McCoig August 10, 2016 - 05:46

I find writing very therapeutic to, even it is it written down using technology. It’s a great way to spill what you’re thinking in very extreme detail.

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laura londergan August 8, 2016 - 13:45

Girl I feel ya as I am constantly trying to get everything “just right” or ‘good enough” and it’s a constant battle. I have gotten better the older I get but I definitely ,need to keep working on it

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Rachel Catherine August 7, 2016 - 22:52

I am my own worst enemy. I tend to be a perfectionist, but I’ve learned in the last few years to start letting things roll away so I can focus on what’s important.

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Dawn McAlexander August 7, 2016 - 22:42

There are lots of times that I have felt alone in a house full of people. I know there were times when I was talking and no one in the house was listening. It makes you feel unwanted. I don’t like the way that feels. That’s a part of the reason I started blogging, so that people will listen to what I have to say.

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Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life August 12, 2016 - 21:49

I agree with you Dawn. I can make you feel completely unwanted and invisible. It hurts. Especially when you dont know the reason you are being ignored or why nobody is willing to hear what you have to say. I will be reading your blog. I will be listening. xoxox Happy Weekend.

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tp keane August 7, 2016 - 21:08

writing is very therapeutic for me too. It helps to centre me and help me find a purpose. I love this post.

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Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life August 12, 2016 - 21:49

Thank you so much TP! xoxox

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Briana Marie November 3, 2016 - 05:48

I’ve been using writing as my therapy for as long as I can remember. It really helps! I’m such a perfectionist and that adds a lot of unnecessary stress in my life. This post is definitely speaking to me. You always put out such great content. Thanks for sharing!

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Terri Steffes August 7, 2016 - 13:59

I think I have learned that I have higher standards for others than I do myself. Not cool. I am trying to change that.

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Cynthia @craftoflaughter August 6, 2016 - 23:59

I am my own worse enemy when it comes to being a perfectionist! Even though I am willing to accept my imperfection, I still get aggravated with myself when I screw up!

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Paula August 6, 2016 - 21:53

Sheri, I just love this post. I work with clients on looking at perfectionsim, and it’s hard. We’ve been raised (at least in school) that there is a right and wrong way to do things, at least to get a grade. In school, the grade is important. In life, there are no grades and no one is really keeping score. I love that you’re digging in to the why around perfectionsim, <3

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ToughCookieMommy August 6, 2016 - 21:47

Putting your thoughts and feelings down on paper is very cathartic. I love getting my feelings out like that.

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Mrs. AOK August 6, 2016 - 13:40

This is something I need to work on. Sometimes I can drive myself crazy trying to make things perfect. However, there are times when I’m able to let it go, and I’m proud of that. My issue has always been control… it’s a tough one for me.
All the best!
XO

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Yona Williams August 2, 2016 - 19:46

I used to be a perfectionist, and then something happened (maybe getting older), and not being so perfect didn’t bother me anymore. Blogging is such a fun way to reflect on life…I love going through some of my older posts to revisit various moments in time.

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Diedre August 2, 2016 - 16:15

In college I struggled to put thoughts on paper because I didn’t want a rough draft, I wanted a perfect paper the first time. A wise professor told me to let go of my perfectionism & it would set me free. She was right.

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Natalia August 2, 2016 - 00:39

It depends on what. About myself as a person I am fine being imperfect me, but the things I do I expect perfect and that is always disappointing

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Mandy Carter (@TheMandyCarter) August 1, 2016 - 20:38

I seeked perfection when I was younger. I have now learned to not be so hard on myself and see my cracks as an opportunity for growth. Focus on perfection makes it difficult to celebrate in successes.

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Cynthia @craftoflaughter August 1, 2016 - 08:53

Great post on a topic we write about often on our own blog! I love being the imperfect me that I am

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Karina Pacheco August 1, 2016 - 03:44

Needed to read this today. I can be too hard on myself sometimes when things don’t come out perfectly. This reminded me that its ok. Loved this!

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Karina Pacheco August 1, 2016 - 03:42

Loved reading this. Sometimes I can be too hard on myself when I think things aren’t perfect but I have to remember myself that no one is perfect and everything will be OK.

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Rachel Catherine July 31, 2016 - 22:43

I do try to be a perfectionist. I irritate myself sometimes. Since having kids though, I’ve learned to let go a little. Perfection and craziness don’t really gel.

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Kim Croisant July 31, 2016 - 13:58

I’ve been there before, but I will tell you it does get better with age. The things that mean so much to you then, will not mean a thing later in life.

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tp keane July 31, 2016 - 05:22

I am, what I like to call, a selective perfectionist. There are things I know I can do nothing about. Because of that, more energy and fussiness is put into other projects… perhaps too much.

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Jessica (Swanky Recipes) July 31, 2016 - 00:57

This was incredibly inspiring to read. I agree that perfection doesn’t exist but what does is the personality behind it. Meditating is on the list to do this fall when I travel a little bit. Can’t wait to give it a try!

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Amber NElson July 30, 2016 - 15:20

This was really inspiring for me. I am often too hard on myself when it comes to trying to do everything perfect.

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Cate July 30, 2016 - 12:19

I’m definitely guilty of saying I’m not going to be a perfectionist but still trying to be perfect. You are a lovely writer and I’m glad you could do some reflecting and try to find that balance.

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Rebecca Bryant July 30, 2016 - 09:09

WOw this was so inspiring. I need to reflect more and meditate I feel it would help me find an inner peace.

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Jumoke July 29, 2016 - 14:54

Great post, i look forward to more of your musings as well as well thought randomness ….. I would also like if you would give a few lessons or advice based on the stories you tell…. Thank you… And I do anticipate more of this

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