Why You Should Never Worry About What You Cannot Control

April 18, 2016

Why You Should Not Worry About What You Cannot Control

Do You Worry About What You Cannot Control?

If you are like most people (myself included), you probably spend a lot of time worrying more than you should. Like me, do you worry a lot about what you cannot control?

I worry about my son, my husband, my job,my home, friends, family – even what the weather will be like tomorrow. There are things I can control, and others that are completely out of my power.

Sometimes, it feels overwhelming which makes it hard to keep a clear mind. The answer here is being able to separate and differentiate the two.

 What can I control, and what do I have to let be?

Ask yourself these two questions:

– Are there any actions that I can take that will make any impact on these events or circumstances?

– Will worrying about what you cannot control change anything?

Worrying begins with a teeny tiny nagging thought. This thought grows quickly into a few more thoughts; in turn, those grow into bigger thoughts and you find your mind brewing and stewing, a volcano about to erupt in your head.

The chaos begins. You start to panic, anxiety sets in and you spend the next few hours worrying about what you cannot control. You are completely worked up and do not know what to do.

For me, this usually happens when I am either all alone, or in bed at night. I cannot sleep and my mind begins to wander. This is when my worry is at it’s best.

'One of the traits of positive people is that they don’t worry about things they can't control' Click To Tweet

CAN I HAVE A SOLUTION PLEASE?

A good way to sort out these thoughts is putting them down on paper. I love lists, so this is easy for me. Lists will help you analyse and divide your worries into two categories:

  1.  Concerns you can do something about
  2.  Concerns beyond your control

Plan and take action for the things you can control. For example, if you worry about the speech you have to make in front of 50 colleagues, commit some time to practice the speech in front of your partner, a friend, or even in front of the mirror.

Heck – record yourself on your smart phone. Do this a few times and it will become easier. Always plan an action that will help ease your worry or fear.

For the things you cannot control – let go. It will be hard at first, but making it a habit will ease a lot of headache and heartache.

Talk to someone. Write it down. Vent if you have to and let the worry out. Don’t waste valuable and precious time in your life worrying about what you cannot control.

'Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” Leo Buscaglia' Click To Tweet

 

Goal setting and speaking positive affirmations to yourself are two things that can help you when you worry about what you cannot control. I have some freebies to help you available in my resource library. Take and look and see.

Do you worry too much about what you cannot control? Do you make lemons into lemonade?

Or are you like me and do a bit of both?

Share your thoughts,views and suggestions for coping with me below.

You never know who you might be helping.

 photo http---signatures.mylivesignature.com-54494-214-D9FF68CD89839C7D04805824C636E627_zpsjhqhdhz9.png

Worry not about what you cannot control. How do you differentiate the things you can and cannot control? Save yourself headache and heartache! Click through to read more how.

63 Comments

  1. Reply

    momentsformeonline

    Great article! So true that you need to plan for things you can do something about and let go of things you can’t. It is hard to let go, but naming what you are feeling emotionally is the first step in doing so. Then I usually bring my thoughts back to the present moment with something like focusing on my breathing. It really helps, I’ll be sharing this with my Facebook page.

    1. Reply

      Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life

      I appreciate you sharing this post and for providing me with some more insight! 🙂

  2. Reply

    watchmeblather

    I find myself worrying about any little thing and it’s gotten worse as I’ve gotten older, I’m trying to focus a lot on dealing with what I can but the idea of having no control is frightening.

  3. Reply

    Tahna de Veyra

    My own philosophy in life is that … Fix it if you can, and let it go if you can’t.

    1. Reply

      Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life

      And a great philosophy it is! 🙂

  4. Reply

    Dreamer Achiever

    Excellent post! It’s so true that worrying about things you cannot affect is just waste of time and your resources. Instead we should take actions if we are worried about something that more or less in our hands. This post was a good reminder about this. Thanks for sharing! 🙂

  5. Reply

    nellyslifecom

    In my mid twenties my mantra became: always focus on the positive things in life and be grateful with what you have.

  6. Reply

    theCuriousPixie

    I think we’ve all been here. It’s important to let go sometimes. Always good to be reminded though.

  7. Reply

    Kintan Tanti Thurau

    This is really fantastic post, i also kind of a person that have so much worried about my family, my husband and my parents and so on and so on. But by reading this it help to know on how to handle it. Or maybe talk with someone else as best friends it can helps.

  8. Reply

    domijonesonline

    I worry about so many things I can’t control and it drives me insane. Thanks so much for sharing this great post!

    Dominick

  9. Reply

    ourownwonderlandblog

    Such a great post, I’m a bit of both tbh sometimes I can’t help but worry but most of the time I’m pretty proactive and plan etc and when something goes wrong that is out of my control I like to look on the positive side!

  10. Reply

    Kelly Hartigan

    Great post. I like to plan ahead, and I like to know what will come next. Sometimes I worry about the “what ifs.” I have issues with anxiety, so I’ve been working on not worrying and/or stressing too much about things that I cannot change. I’m trying to let things go and focus on what I can do something about. Thank you for the reminder. 🙂

  11. Reply

    Crissy

    This was such a lovely read! I used to really worry about all the things I couldn’t control in my life. I would spend hours thinking about it and would stress me out. But recently, I have been working on that and now I can let actually let it go (for the most part). So I say that’s an improvement! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

    ~Crissy

  12. Reply

    nlampert

    I’m a big worrier and I’ve definitely had to practice the art of letting go and focusing on what I can actually control. I can definitely relate to this post!

  13. Reply

    Isaly Holland

    I do alittle bit of both, I worry sometimes but I also push myself to make lemonade when its needed (:

    xoxo
    Isaly Holland

  14. Reply

    Ellie

    It has taken me so so long to let go and stop worrying about what I cannot control. I moved from a natural disaster free area of the world to a city that is overdue for an enormous 9.0 mag earthquake which could hit us at any time and that took a lot of work to let go of and try to keep my anxiety down on but there’s no point worrying about what we cannot control. It only keeps us from living our lives happily!

  15. Reply

    Blair Villanueva

    same thought as my Dada always tell me – not to worry about things I can’t control. And sometimes he finds me silly because of it, hahaha. Now I’ve learn to be less uptight.

  16. Reply

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    […] cannot control every situation, so when things do not go as planned, I choose to remain […]

  17. Reply

    fromdreamtoplan

    Hi Sheri! hope you’ll be happy to know that I really enjoyed this article and cited it here: http://www.fromdreamtoplan.net/2016/11/06/sunday-suggestions-8/ 🙂

    1. Reply

      Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life

      Hi Lisa, I am glad you enjoyed the article and I very much appreciate you citing my link on your post. Loving the pictures on your site and will be reading more of your content. Have a wonderful Sunday and thanks again. Hugs from Vienna xoxox S.

  18. Reply

    Sunday Suggestions #8 – fromdreamtoplan

    […] second post ” Why You Should Never Worry About What You Cannot Control” written by Sheri, is a great reminder that it’s okay not to have under control […]

  19. Reply

    Izabela

    This is a great advice. I am such a worrier. I often overanalyse things and can’t get them out of my head. I really like your advice regarding putting things down on paper.

  20. Reply

    Inyene

    Very informative! Be happy with what you can control, everyone situations are different and never compare your chapter one with someone chapter 10 is a nice principle to live with.

  21. Reply

    Valerie CottageMakingMommy

    I spend too much time worrying about things I can’t control. Thank you for the reminder to stop worrying.

  22. Reply

    MyYellowApron

    I used to be this anxious girl who would fret over anything and everything small. The thoughts of not being accepted by people, scared the hell out of me. But not any more. The more I started to like myself, I saw that, the more I get liked by others. I just had to reach the equilibrium. I’m happy now and what you have written is spot on.

    1. Reply

      Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life

      You are absolutely right and I am glad that you are liking yourself more. It changes your outlook on everything in life!

  23. Reply

    livelaughhlovee5

    You are 100% correct. This post actually inspired me a little. Thanks for this!

  24. Reply

    Veronica

    Sheri, this is right on time! Sometimes I worry over the things I can’t control way too much and for that reason I won’t even try doing something.
    Sometimes I also understand that there things I can’t control, they are just there. But some things still control me.

    1. Reply

      Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life

      Hi Veronica, the less you worry, the easier things will fall into place, just like they were meant to. It has been hard for me to learn this lesson and I work on it daily.

  25. Reply

    Star Lengas | 87pages

    This is so timely!! I have to remember to just let go and stop letting unnecessary things affect me. I can’t control life and to do so, only makes me feel more stressed!

  26. Reply

    Vyjay Rao

    I totally agree, there is no point in worrying over things beyond your control. What is to happen, will happen and you cannot influence it.

  27. Reply

    Blair Villanueva

    This is perfect! Just yesterday me and my long-time boyfriend is discussing something, and I couldn’t help but to worry of something. He told me to stop worrying of the situation that is not yet happening, as I am spoiling the fun coming in.. I realized he is right.. I should go with the flow and enjoy this moment!

    1. Reply

      Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life

      Yes Blair! Savour the moments, enjoy life, and strive for happiness! 🙂

  28. Reply

    Ann

    So true. I used to be really good at not worrying, I even won awards about it in high school, believe it or not. But, sometime in my career-life I got stuck with bosses who couldn’t handle my carefree attitude. I was always serious about my job, always worked to my deadlines, but I tried not to sweat the small stuff. So, I started adapting a worried persona and it sucks. Now, instead of people always telling me that I’m always so calm, people tell me to calm down. I’m going to try to be more aware of that, though, and go back to me. Thanks!

  29. Reply

    Liana

    Staying positive is a key to stop beinf overwhelmed by things you cannot control. It takes time, it takes stress management, but hell you can do it when you commit to. Of course, it’s true, and it can ruins your life. I was such a nerve record breaker, but after living abroad, I took everything the easy way. As every girl, I was the one expeting everything will go wrong, but staying positive helped me a lot. This, and meditation. x

  30. Reply

    Christine Leger

    These are great tips. I try to leave the uncontrollable alone, but then I end up micromanaging the things I can control. I do have to say though, writing it down does help me realize how fruitless my worries are and helps to calm me down.
    Great tips. thank you

  31. Reply

    theresourcefulmama

    I try not worry about things I can’t control. I have enough to focus on without worrying about stuff I can’t change.

  32. Reply

    Donah (@sweetjellybean5)

    I can totally relate to this post because I, too, worry more than I should. And my husband would tell me the same thing, there’s only so much you can control and to do my best to stay positive. 🙂

  33. Reply

    Amber NElson

    This is great advice. It really helps put things into perspective. I have had to really work on this for myself.

  34. Reply

    Eva/ Kid Minds

    I think I’m pretty good about not worrying about things I can not control. I do a lot of yoga and I just generally like being in a relaxed state of mind. So when I find that my mind is getting agitated I ask myself if it’s something I can do about and if the answer is ‘not’ then I just push it out of my mind. Life is too short to worry about what I can’t control.

  35. Reply

    Roxanne

    I think many of us live life anxiety- but it may be masked as perfectionism, or efficiency, or busy. I think these are great tips to help people be more aware of how to handle worry.

    1. Reply

      Sheri - A Busy Bees Life

      I agree with you 100% Roxanne!

  36. Reply

    Debra Hawkins (@wifeeclectic)

    I think this is so hard for me. I worry MORE about the stuff I can’t control because I can’t control it. Vicious cycle!

  37. Reply

    Tabitha Shakespeare

    What a great post! I definitely worry way too much about everything that I can’t control! This is an easy way to ease some stress. Thank you!

  38. Reply

    tp keane

    What a fantastic post. There are so many things I worry about, that I have no control over whatsoever. I really need to learn to let go.

  39. Reply

    Jesenia

    I’ve gotten better, but I tend to worry. However, I don’t allow it to stop me from making decisions or taking risks.

  40. Reply

    felinebykatsaris

    Oh i love this post! It is so true what you say about how you can’t take control of everything but be prepared for what you can! Great post

  41. Reply

    Amanda Love

    I tend to worry a lot and I need to stop. I worry about things I can control and things I can’t. It just adds more stress on my head and I need to chill as my husband would say.

  42. Reply

    Mo

    ohh yeah i definitely can worry too much about things without needing to! so sometimes i try to shift my focus from worrying about the actual things i have to do (which i can’t control) to the positive outcome/results, and that’s what keeps me motivated. such a great reminder though, great post 🙂 #sharingthelove

  43. Reply

    abusybeeslife - Are You Suffering From An Anxiety Disorder?

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  44. Reply

    Marvina Stedge

    Hi, I actually love what you said. I’m a mother, a wife, a college student and a daugter, and I do sometimes worry alot. I worry about everything, not sure why but I do. I’ve actually started this year with a thought about “making this year a better year for me inside and out. ” Some of that has to do with not letting things get to me so easily and worrying less. Worrying takes so much out of you and you actually spend more of your energy and time worrying about things, instead of just enjoying your life and being happy for who is in your life and what you have. I think that writing things down, venting, exercising, anything to take your mind off of it helps, but also realizing that there are some things in life that you can not control, and if you can not control it, then just let it go and see how it plays out. Great post by the way. Love your blog so far.

  45. Reply

    Samantha Isabel Coronado

    This is also what I need to learn. a lot of people are anxious about the things they can’t control. sometimes it’s best to acknowledge your limitations and hope for the best.

  46. Reply

    tjones@sugarwitht.com

    Great advise! …..Love this post

  47. Reply

    Psychic Nest

    Hi Sheri,

    When we understand that we cannot control other people’s emotions and decisions, it is when we know when to let it go. In the past, I used to struggle too with so many worries about situations I couldn’t control. I realized that worrying too much never changes the outcome, it just adds some more stress to an already stressful situation. Great post, thank you!

    Zaria

    1. Reply

      Sheri - A Busy Bees Life

      Zaria you are 100% correct. It only adds worry and heartache to a situation you already do not want to be in and have no control over. It is hard to teach yourself not to worry, and I constantly have to talk myself out of doing it, but it does work and it is getting easier over time. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me 🙂

  48. Reply

    Rosemond

    I’m a worrier too. My mind worries away down one track or another. I wish I could turn off the worry faucet sometimes!

  49. Reply

    Ariona

    Worrying is such a bad habit of mine. I’m going to try your suggestions and hopefully it helps! Thank you!

  50. Reply

    ivannar89

    Your advice to focus on what you can control sounds a lot like a major principle in Stephen Covey’s book & Habits of Highly Effective People. He calls it the “Circle of Influence” and the “Circle of Concern”. When we focus too much on the circle of concern, we waste our time and energy. When we focus on our circle of influence we see positive change.

    I think about this often! Although it’s hard to put into practice on a daily basis. Have you read it?

    1. Reply

      Sheri - A Busy Bees Life

      Hi Ivanna, No I haven’t read it, but it certainly sounds interesting and a book that I would love to read. I love learning new books/articles about positive thoughts, self affirmation and personal development so I will find this book. Thank you for your feedback and recommendation. 🙂

  51. Reply

    Rica@ Yoga Mat Monkey

    How much time do we waste delving into the future and all it’s potential catastrophes with the energy we should be using to just enjoy the present moment? Thanks for this reminder!

    1. Reply

      Sheri - A Busy Bees Life

      You are right Rica, if only we would take more time to savour the moment, in the moment and not miss out on it by thinking of all the possible negatives that may or may not arise.

  52. Reply

    swannydotme

    It’s so true, I try my best to do this, but I have my weak moments 🙁 Great post x

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